While at my parents’ house in St. Louis last week I pulled a clothbound book off the shelf in my bedroom closet and flipped through it. What was inside was so incredibly cringe-worthy that I decided to snap photos of the contents and embarrass the hell out of my nine-year-old self here on my blog.  🙂

No, it’s not a journal: it’s a handmade book of haikus written by yours truly. And they are downright AWFUL. Fourth graders at my grade school spent time learning about Japan, and one of the things we learned about were haikus. So as part of the Japan unit, each student wrote their own haikus, made watercolor sheets of paper to write the haikus on (in calligraphy, no less!), created cloth covers, and even bound our books ourselves.


I was never amazing at creative writing, and I especially had trouble with it while physically at school. I preferred writing at home by myself, without the extra pressure of feeling like I was being watched by teachers and other students. I don’t recall if I had to write these haikus at school or if I was able to write any of them at home, but reading through them now I’m guessing these were all composed at school…haha.

So now, I present you with fifteen super awesome original haikus written by me at the age of nine. Oh, wait! One more thing before we get started. For a little additional context, here’s approximately what I looked like in fourth grade, though the below photo was from fifth grade:

I made that splatter paint tee myself! So proud.

Okay…deep breath….here we go.

The sky is so blue, except when it isn’t.

A safety lesson! Lightning can hurt you.

I’m not sure I’ve ever come across a pearly rock, but that sounds awesome.

Sometimes the wind howls. But sometimes it doesn’t.

Ladies and gentlemen, the basics of seasons.

Fluffy! Neat! Pretty!

Okay, “Trees” maybe isn’t quite so bad as the others. I’d still give this one a B- at the very most, and that’s being generous.

It took me a second to realize who “they” were in the final line. Great job, me!

Flower facts.

Kind of digging the way I wrote that calligraphy “j.”

I always did love a rainy day. Bonus points for the thematically appropriate drops of ink on “Rain.”

Flowers are plants, so might as well say the same thing about plants as I did about flowers.

Okay, “Moon” is probably the best of the bunch. I’m actually really into the watercolor design on this page, too.

Everything in nature is pretty! (Actually, that’s not totally wrong.) I sort of appreciate that I anthropomorphized the sun.

Guys, vines can grow things, too!

I’d like to think my repeated incorrect usage of “real” instead of “really” was due to the syllabic strictures inherent in haiku. Honestly, that might be the most embarrassing thing about these, and that’s truly saying something.

I’m no poet, and I sure as hell know it!